Every January, I set big writing goals. By March, the goals have dissolved or morphed, depending on what has happened in my life. After realizing I’ve missed my benchmarks, my brain naturally spirals into all the ways I’ve failed myself. My friends have published more books than me. Read more books. Posted more on social media. The self-loathing grows exponentially.

For many of us, sitting at a desk all day every day is not realistic. Some of us have other jobs, other commitments, even physical limitations, like bad backs, necks, bulging discs, and arthritis. (Welcome to the body of a writer.) So when we finally do sit down, we put all this pressure on ourselves to write something amazing, to be super productive, to get tons of words on the page. The pressure to create is intense. And the pressure to be a productive creator can be crippling.

On the best of days, we get into that state of flow, that glorious experience when fingers type furiously, in sync with the universe. Time stands still, and the words on the page are deep and poignant and exquisite. But sometimes, we sit at our computers and stare at our screens and all we can think about is our grocery list, or that the dog needs a walk, or that we can’t really think of anything interesting to write, and maybe this writing thing is a big waste of time because we can’t write anyway.

What if we considered process something bigger? What if we considered that those days of inefficiency, those days of no words, of just staring at a monitor with a blank mind, is part of the process that leads us to a state of flow? What if all those hard moments, those days when you slog at your computer, or when you can’t write anything at all, are as much a part of the creative process as those bursts of flow? What if flow doesn’t occur despite all those days of slogging, but instead, flow occurs because of it?

I once spent three weeks trying to solve a problem in a novel. I grew restless and irritated, stressed with myself. So I told myself I was giving up. I put the book aside, and I spent the next three weeks not writing. I went for walks. I chatted with friends. I cleaned my closet. And then one day, I went to a yoga class, did my downward dogs and Shavasana, and then left the building and walked outdoors. It was a glorious, sunny summer day. The sky was perfect, the temperature just right. I tilted my face towards the warmth of the sun and suddenly, the solution popped into my head. It just came to me.

In our Write Now! Group, writers often check in at the end of our sessions sheepishly confessing they didn’t accomplish the goal they’d set out to do. They say things like:

I wanted to write a chapter, but I only got through three pages.
Or
I wasn’t sure what to write, so I just reread my last chapter.
Or
I was so tired that I fell asleep. I didn’t get anything done.
Or
I spent the whole time revising one paragraph.

After almost 20 years in this business and two years of leading Write Now! groups, I need to say this out loud: They Count! Every one of those experiences counts!

All these moments that feel unproductive are part of your process, and they count. The very commitment that you make to yourself to sit in a chair, even if you are staring out the window, counts. And we haven’t even talked about self-care. We can only write if our wells are full, so filling our wells is as important as the writing. Whale Rock instructor Heather Demetrios shared with students last spring that if they were so tired that they needed a nap during their writing time, then that nap counts. Because that nap helps heal the fatigue and fills the well.

As I look at the months ahead, I’m going to be thinking about my process and about what I need to do to keep my creative juices flowing. Spoiler alert: some of that work will be boring and unproductive. I encourage you to do the same. And if you need to step away from your computer to walk your dog or buy some groceries, no worries. That counts.

PhPhoto by lilartsy on Unsplashoto by lilartsy on Unsplash

The time we spend thinking and dreaming counts.

The time we spend reading counts.

The time we spend journaling counts.

The time spent sitting in a chair, staring at our computer, whether we are productive or not, counts.

Whether we write one word or one thousand words…

It counts.

For more thoughts on the creative process consider reading (or listening to):

How to Fly a Horse, by Kevin Ashton

Creativity can't be forced. Take breaks and zone out to find new inspiration

Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, by Matthew Walker PhD (Heather Demetrio recommendation)

Creative Pep Talk Podcast (Hannah Barnaby recommendation)

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